This paper wishes to explore the gender relations between men and women who were ‘on the same side’ during a period of civil war. More precisely my research on the political violence in one small town in KwaZulu-Natal shows that United Democratic Front-aligned women, in particular young women, were exposed to the sexual violence that was part of the conflict. But the danger that they faced was not only from ‘the other side’ but also from the young men who were supposedly on their side. One of the interesting dynamics is that despite this reality and the threats and dangers they faced, these women continued to identify themselves with the UDF. Their political identities remained UDF even when the UDF ‘boys’ threatened them sexually.